


the hardest part

by damnmysterytome



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Illness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 18:32:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6388006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnmysterytome/pseuds/damnmysterytome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karen never gave much thought to the way she would die – except for the ways that she didn't want to die. She didn't want to be shot, she didn't want to drown, she didn't want to be buried alive, or burned alive. Anything that sounded painful, she didn't want to go out that way. But other than that, she didn't give it much thought – until she was forced to. </p><p>The ride home from the hospital was quiet, neither her or Frank could even think of what to say to each other or to themselves.  What was there to say? She was dying, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the hardest part

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one of those prompts from tumblr ( @ atlantafive) that got a little too long and I decided to just post over here. Actually, I'm considering posting all of my prompts from tumblr because maybe if I do, AO3 will finally put a filter for them. A girl can dream, right?
> 
> Again: C H A R A C T E R D E A T H. There's enough warnings, no one should be surprised by the end of this fic.

Karen never gave much thought to the way she would die – except for the ways that she didn't want to die. She didn't want to be shot, she didn't want to drown, she didn't want to be buried alive, or burned alive. Anything that sounded painful, she didn't want to go out that way. But other than that, she didn't give it much thought – until she was forced to.

The ride home from the hospital was quiet, neither her or Frank could even think of what to say to each other or to themselves. What was there to say? She was dying, and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

The last few months had been really bad for Karen, she'd had more headaches than she ever had, had issues with her vision and her balance. When Frank had found her passed out in the kitchen early in the morning, he'd forced her to go to the doctors. Weeks and several tests later, they'd had their answer.

Karen had an inoperable brain tumor pressing on her cerebrum, words that Karen never thought she would hear. She'd never given thought to the way she would die, but a brain tumor wasn't on the list of ways she didn't want to die. Maybe it should have been.

* * *

 

“What do we do?” Frank asked once they were inside their apartment and the news had really sunk in. It had been hours since they'd gotten home from the hospital, and still neither of them had made a noise. His voice was low and a bit unsteady, like he was just trying his hardest not to cry.

Karen had her head resting on Frank's leg, her eyes shut and her forearm over her forehead. His voice brought her back to reality and she sat up slowly, turning so she was sitting crosslegged but facing him. “You heard the doctor. It's inoperable.” She cleared her throat, holding her head up by her hand. Her elbow pressed into the couch, giving her a bit of leverage. She was tired and all she wanted to do was sleep, but every time she had started to actually fall asleep, Frank would move or cough. She assumed he was doing it just in case she had any ideas about dying in her sleep right now.

“It's still treatable, it'll give you-”

“I don't want that.” Karen interrupted, looking at Frank's face. It was inoperable, but there was till the option of chemotherapy and radiation. It wouldn't make it go away, but it would give her more time. The doctor had told her she had at least three months left, but chemotherapy and radiation could extend it to six. She didn't want it, she made that choice already.

Frank's face contorted with anger and he stood from the couch, running a hand through his hair. “How can you not want that?” He asked, refusing to look at Karen. “It could give you more time. Give _us_ -”

“Time I would spend sick and in a hospital and miserable. I don't want to spend my last moments in a fucking hospital bed. I want to spend it at home with you.” Karen's voice cracked and the reality of the situation dawned on her. Tears finally spilled out and she squeezed her eyes shut. “I'm _dying_ , Frank.”

“Karen..”

“I'm _dying_!” She shouted, choking on a sob. Karen was crying now, loud, uncontrollable crying. She covered her face and bent her head down, the sobs shaking her body so much the couch under her shook as well.

Frank turned to look at Karen, trying to prevent his own tears from falling. Watching her cry was one of the few things that still really affected Frank, all he wanted to do was go out and hurt whatever made her cry. But this time, there was nothing to hurt. He couldn't do anything about it.

His anger towards Karen went away and he moved towards the couch, sitting next to her and pulling her onto his lap. Karen buried her head in his shoulder as she cried, her fingers clinging in his shirt. Frank rested his chin on her shoulder and tightened his grip around her, closing his eyes and letting the tears fall down his cheek.

* * *

 

Frank didn't mention treatment again until Foggy and Matt found out about her illness. They knew that they wouldn't be able to keep it a secret, especially with Matt being... Well, Matt. They'd know something was wrong the second they saw them the next time. Karen didn't want to tell them, she didn't want to see their faces when they found out. Frank offered, Karen happily accepted. He told them over beers in Karen's apartment while she slept, it was what Karen did the most now.

Or he told them while she pretended to sleep and sat right by her bedroom door and listened. She listened to their denial (even though Matt could tell when Frank was lying), she listened to their anger, she listened to the tears that Foggy shed openly, she listened to everything. It was muffled, but she could hear it.

“What about treatment?”

“It'll only extend her life by a few months, it won't help.”

“But-”

“Karen doesn't want treatment.”

She can hear the anger in Frank's voice when he said that. He's still angry she doesn't want it, but she's not budging.

“How can she not want treatment?”

When Frank doesn't speak, Karen decided it was time for her to come out. She didn't want to hear them talk about her anymore.

Karen opened the door and slowly walked out, clearing her throat to gain their attention. All three of the most important people in her life look up at her, each of them had grief and pre-mourning already written on their faces. It killed Karen to see them looking at her that way, but there was nothing that she could do.

“I don't want to spend my last moments in a hospital bed hooked up to machines or feeling sick because of radiation. I want to spend my last moments at home, preferably in bed, surrounded by the people I love.” Karen's voice broke and she shut her eyes, allowing tears to fall out of her eyes.

“Karen, we just want-”

“This isn't about _you!_ It isn't about what _you_ want. It's about _me_. It's about what _I_ want!” Karen snapped, although she wasn't sure who had been actually talking. When she opened her eyes and Matt looked the most taken back, she figured it was his voice. “I'm dying. Three months, if that. And I'm terrified. I don't want to die. But I would rather die quickly at home than die slowly in a fucking hospital bed.” Her voice rose into an actual shout and it took her breath away and caused her head to ache. Karen's hand came up to her head and she lowered her head. All three of them stood to their feet and a set of arm's engulfed her. By the scent of his cologne, she could tell it was Foggy. He was crying, and Karen was crying, and she could hear Frank and Matt crying. And that hurt even more.

* * *

 

The hardest part about Karen's death wasn't waking up to her dead body next to him. It wasn't calling her friends and family. It wasn't watching her body be carried out of their apartment. It wasn't attending her funeral and it wasn't burying her. The hardest part about Karen's death wasn't even living without her after things settled down and Frank was left alone. The hardest part wasn't even being alone.

The hardest part was there was nothing left for him to do. When his family died, he had a mission. Avenge them. But now? There was nothing for Frank to do. There was no revenge to take, no justice to seek. There was nothing. And that's was the hardest part.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you all still love me?


End file.
